The Beast of Grief

Below is a piece I wrote within the first week of losing my beloved Papa (Grandfather). He was called home December 10th, 2023.

I wanted to post it here because I believe that it may be relatable.

I have been blessed in my life to just now be experiencing the painstaking process of losing a loved one I was so close to. "Close" perhaps isn't the best word of choice. "Interconnected" seems to be a better fit.

This may come across strange to some, especially those that only know me as "Brandie-The Medium". How can one work so regularly with the Spirit world and never have experienced the depth of loss that they are attempting to heal in others? Empathy would be my answer if someone had asked me before Sunday. Empathy.

I am just now truly getting acquainted with the nature of the beast we've named "grief". How she wakes you from your deep slumber. Pulling and tugging at the core of your body. In the beginning you wake to her insistent disruptions... restlessly confused. Are they really gone? Was yesterday the nightmare or am I in it now?

Lack of sleep is medicated with copious amounts of caffeine to see you through the portion of the day in which you are asked to be as "normal" as possible. Things need to be done; papers signed, relatives contacted, pictures gone through, and sitting with your fellow heartbroken clan that lean on you because you...YOU...are their rock right now. The last sentence is the observation of what one of my rocks has, silently and compassionately experienced, as he prepares to say a goodbye he knew was coming....but the reality turned out to be a bit heavier than he had predicted while running through "drills" in the past.

While the tasks exhaust you, you find yourself doing them with purposeful perpetuity. They keep you out of your own mind, your own heart...until you're too exhausted to take another step. In which, you set the coffee pot for an early morning hour...so that you'll have the needed caffeine at hand so...you can repeat it all again tomorrow. Your body eases from "fight or flight"...relaxes into the soft sheets and you feel the tension leave. Perhaps due to tears, that after being held in through the day's-demands, and without permission....finally make their way onto your cheeks, down your face, and soak the pillow cradling your overwhelming and restricted thoughts. You blow your nose with the last of your Puffs lotion tissues, flip your pillow to the dryer side, and allow sleep to take you over...

Only to be awakened again, by the tug..tug...tug...of that beautiful beast...who you realize now...was originally called "love".

The Importance of Looking Back

It is that time of year, in which, yearly reflections and yearly resolutions posts are most likely flooding your social media. While I don’t subscribe to setting lofty goals for a new year, I do take time to do a yearly reflection. Why, when our consciousness and feeds are filled with “Don’t look back, you’re not going that way” and “Wash, rinse, don’t repeat” meme’s, would I sit with the past? Because there is no greater lesson to be cultivated, than doing exactly that. As Melody Beattie expressed it best, “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates vision for tomorrow.” However, if we don’t sit with the past, intentional gratitude cannot be formed, and thus, we are still walking around fragmented from the year before.

I wrote in my personal journal yesterday, “Why do I do yearly reflections? I suppose it is to digest what the year has fed us. To gain perspective of the bigger picture. To heal wounds that may have been forgotten along the journey to more demanding tasks.”  We live our lives on the fastest settings we can (a generalization of course) and truly being able to sit with things like grief, pain, disappointment, and even gratitude or joy become nearly impossible. Part of living into an authentic and intentional life, is making the time to sit with everything. Yearly reflections are an amazing way of doing so. I personally keep a journal. At the end of the year, I go through month-by-month, reread what took place, and make physical note of the highlights (and honestly the low lights). When I’m finished, I summarize it all. I journal it all out. I realize and can see what needs tending to and what can then be released.

I set intentions for the year ahead, NOT resolutions. Intentions like, leaning into my motherhood more, or exploring my creativity in a specific way. I suppose I could set intentions for losing another ____ pounds or always finishing my daily “to do” list…but I have found that it doesn’t personally serve me, my family, or my community to do so. I encourage you this week, to make time for reflection and become aware of the things you shut in the closet to be addressed later…and then never found the time to do so. Let me know below if you participate in yearly reflections and, if so, how you do them. 

Where Did You Go??

Hello Beautiful Souls…

I wanted to take some time to address your questions about where I went and why I was gone. My hopes are to shed some light on those answers but also that you find inspiration in there telling. 

It’s hard to believe that so much time has gone by since I “walked away” from my mediumship practice. At the time I swore it was for good. I wasn’t going to be coming back to public mediumship and certainly not at the capacity in which I left it. At the time, there was a whirlwind of things going on in my life and while I projected a mostly “I’ve got this, life is good” persona, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Don’t get me wrong, I knew I was navigating some really heavy things in my life. The issue was, I was doing it seemingly by myself. 

The six (plus) year relationship I was in fell apart in a matter of months. I was blindsided when it was revealed that the foundation we had built everything on, was never solid. During the following eight months, I did my best to heal the deep cracks, but they seemed to reach all the way to the center of the earth. Simultaneously, I decided to make one of the biggest changes I could, and return to college to attempt attaining my first degree. The feelings of anxiety hit hard. I would be in active panic attacks while driving to Innergistic to do the day of sessions planned. Sometimes, they would be so severe that I found myself vomiting on the side of the highway. In addition, the drama in the community seemed to be at a fever-pitch. Through my decade or so of helping to build the mediumistic community in Tulsa, I had come across my fair share of community drama. Sometimes, due to no one’s fault but my own (I blame it on my youth and being 25 years old). This time was different. The rat race had infected some of my closest colleagues and I found myself at the receiving end of rumors and lies. I just wanted to walk away. If this is what it meant to be a Medium, I wanted no part in it. So, I made the announcement that I was closing my practice. I would no longer be doing one-to-one sessions while I was in pursuit of my degree. 

Problem solved? No, no it was just beginning. In May 2021, I left that relationship that I could no longer patch the fractures of. Despite the turmoil, I had great acceptance in doing so. The permission came to me one night during a cacao ceremony in Arkansas. My body weighted into the floor I cried out to the Divine to show me the way, to help me decide what was best for myself and for my children. She answered in sweet revere, with tears streaming down my face. (If you’d like me to write about that specific cocoa ceremony, leave a message in the comments!). Life seemed to aggressively move forward after that night. My then partner demanded to know my decision the very next morning. Despite my pleas for him to wait until I was home, his own journey would not allow it. He moved out before I even had a chance to make it back that night. When we surrender something over to the Divine and are at peace with the answer, I have found that our timeline seems to accelerate. 

A few days later I was informed that I would need to undergo my first operation on my cervical spine. An MRI had revealed that the three years of pain I had been experiencing was due to a complete disintegration of a disc in my neck. At 35, I would be heading into the most life-changing season to date. Afraid to go through the surgery alone, I asked a dear friend to accompany me. He offered to stay that night in the hospital with me and then he insisted on caring for me while I recovered. His act of friendship, care and kindness was moving. I had never been more grateful than I was in those weeks, to not be alone.

The beginning of October welcomed bliss. My dear friend proposed to me and I said “yes”. Oddly, I started experiencing lower back pain. At first, it wasn’t of great concern or too painful. As the weeks went on though, I started experiencing continuous muscle spasms in my lower back. It was as if I had a tens unit constantly attached. By the end of the month, I lost my ability to walk unassisted. I was devastated. Here I was, a single Mom of three, in college full time…and I couldn’t even get out of bed on my own. My fiancé was there as much as I would allow him to be. Despite his own work schedule (which was extremely demanding of time), he made sure to be with me everyday and helped me navigate the devastation. 

Christmas and New Year’s Eve came and went. We moved into a new house and by mid-February we married. I am happy to say that I did not need a cain to walk towards my husband on our wedding day. I had begun rounds of injections and ablations to stop the spasms and the nerve pain.

While my lower back settled down a bit, my neck and head picked it right up. I began suffering from headaches so severe that I was having tiny little strokes. We were desperately seeking answers. It was as though the doctors were throwing things to the wall to see what would stick. After another MRI, in August 2022, we were given the frustrating news that my cervical spine would need another fusion. I opted to wait until December, so that I could finish out the semester uninterrupted. The surgery went well and recovery couldn’t have gone better. There comes a moment in times like this where you feel like you have it all figured out…FINALLY. 

Did we though? No…no….not at all my friends. Sometime between February and March my health took another spiral. I was chronically fatigued. The kind of fatigue that makes your bones hurt. During Spring Break, I made a trip down to Texas to see close friends over the weekend and then stop in Oklahoma City to visit family before I returned to Tulsa. I returned home on Monday morning in so much pain I cried the last few miles of the trip. My husband helped me into bed and that is where I spent the next three and half months. Headaches that caused me to lay in a lightless, soundless room. Fevers that broke and came back and physical pain that felt like it was breaking me. Whatever “it” was, was determined to break me. That is when we made the decision that my breast implants would have to come out. (I had them placed in 2011) My body couldn’t continue to fight like it was. I had very little, to no quality of life. My children deserved their Mama back and my husband deserved a healthy wife. In July, I went under one more time. We prayed for an “easy” operation. That the capsules be completely removed and that there was nothing “unusual” looking that would need to go to pathology. The Divine heard those prayers. The surgeon stating that it was one of the easiest procedures he’s done and that the capsules were easily removed enbloc (this means that there were no rips or pieces missing from it). 

As I write this today, I am in a place of deep gratitude. My health and energy levels have improved greatly. I still undergo back injections/ablations, however, there is hope that one day they will no longer be necessary. My immune system is regulating its self more and more everyday. I am no longer plagued with severe fatigue and unable to get out of bed. 

It is interesting to write this all out, to see the struggle and to know this: I never left Spirit. They never left me. I thought I was walking away from it all, however, that wasn’t the case at all. While I left my practice and the chaos of a fluctuating community, I walked straight into the arms of the Divine and Spirit. I had to step away in order to fall apart, heal and be rebuilt. The biggest work I would undergo thus far, required me to become still, quiet, and surrender to the process. It required me to allow those around me to help me (which is a big one for me) and in doing so, a new community was formed. I learned that sometimes, our biggest gifts of Spirit, desperately need to be turned inward and used to help ourselves. 

This past Saturday, I stepped back into the role I swore to myself I would never do again. I took a seat at a little table inside Innergistic where Spirit and I served our hearts out to the community. I had come back home and my community welcomed me with open arms. I am forever grateful for those arms and for this journey with the Spirit World. 

Did You Stop Too?

Yesterday I was flipping through some work notebooks. Every new year I start writing down my ideas, visions and goals for what I want to create that year. Some are lofty and unrealistic and some I absolutely crush. It is my place to collaborate with my Spirit and with the Spirit World. It is my place to dream about the future. This year I wrote that I wanted to have two retreats instead of one. I wanted to complete my book and get it published. I wanted to teach more trance classes, demonstrate in new states and put on an empowering conference. Like most, I was absolutely thrilled with the potential of 2020. I flipped ahead in the notebooks to the planning stage. This is the space that I write the practicals of accomplishing everything. You know, “call ____” or “sign rental agreement”. I date things so I know where I am in the process and when I did what.

My notebook stopped in March this year. Everything was still in the creation phase. The reality hit me that had I completely stopped dreaming. I completely stopped moving forward. The inner chaos created by the external world conflict caused me to retreat inside of myself. My relationship to myself and my spirituality ceased. I found myself in a cycle of anxiety, fear and fatigue. I am not unique in this regard. I think there was a great deal of us, just trying to survive a global pandemic, a changing political climate and civil unrest. When summer started I began to feel myself shift. I began to seek. I began to find opportunities to become still. (With three kids in the house and nowhere to go this wasn’t an easy task.) 

What this revealed to me was that an alignment was taking place. In this alignment I was changing. I had heard close friends in the community talk about how this year was going to help us see everything clearer, including ourselves. This was my first moment of being able to see that it was taking place. My desire for a less chaotic schedule, relationships falling out of my life, other relationships becoming stronger, inspiration to learn things that I had neglected, journaling, prayer, and being present in each moment started to birth a peace I couldn’t explain. I began to define how I wanted to move forward from here. In fact, I am still in this phase of defining but it feels good to finally understand HOW I have found some truth in a world that is so confusing right now. 

I had to define what living in alignment was for me. I had to define what living an inspirational life was for me. I could no longer solely go by what I saw on social media and try to emulate what I thought was “spiritual”. While I have always done things as authentically as possible, emulation feels a lot like taking someone else’s medicine and expecting it to heal you. While there are common things that help us all, getting down to the root of your soul is so unbelievably personal. I will share what it is for me to live aligned life under one condition: YOU DON’T PRESCRIBE A ONE SIZE FITS ALL MENTALITY. Rather, my hope is that you allow it to inspire you to go within, dig a little deeper and find what alignment and living an inspired life means for YOU. 

1. Caring for my physical body 

2. Journaling

3. Ego Checks 

4. Consumption Checks

5. Meditation/Breath work

6. Slowing down

7. Asking myself if it’s “for me” 

8. Releasing toxic relationships and thought patterns

9. Using my voice and personal power to advocate for equality, love and unity.

I’ll leave you with this…it’s a post I wrote in 2014. It amazes me how fitting it is for 2020 and it is a reminder that we live life in cycles and each cycle presents a beautiful opportunity for change…

“So often I hear others speak of change as a negative force within their life. This seemingly black hole that encapsulates all they know and all they thought they would ever be. The taker of dreams and identity. What if change was not that? What if change was the catalyst for truth, a mirror that showed you beautifully naked not to the world but to yourself? What if change was  a tunnel of light that led you...to you? Today I encourage you to gently float with the tide of change and let it reveal to you, all the beauty in which you already are. All the things you already know, everything left to be discovered, and all the dreams you have yet to dream.”

With Love and Gratitude,

B

To Music Or To Not....

Hey Lovely!

I hope you are doing well during this strange flux in time we are calling 2020! I know that figuring out how to manage this time looks different for us all. Some days feel like a cluster of chaos and some days I feel like I’m at the top of my game. I finally found that creating a schedule for myself was crucial to my mental health. It has kept me focused, grounded and feeling as though I have accomplished something each day. While the schedule looks different everyday (because let’s face, I am a Mama) my routine is a constant and always starts with meditation. I know what you are thinking, “How do you find time for meditation Mama?” The answer is that I have an agreement with my Partner on sectioning out the day so we each get time to focus. I know that in this respect I am extremely blessed. Having once been a single Mama of two, it took me a long time to learn to manage my time in a way that also gave back to me. I use to meditate in the shower because it was my only time alone…if I was lucky. 

In that time that I have, I MAKE it a priority. I make it the first thing on my list. 

It has become an anchoring force in handling the drastic change in life. It helps me ride the wave of anxiety I feel at a changing career, a changing home life and frankly the  feeling of being “shut in” sometimes. Because of this I wanted to take a moment and answer one of the most asked questions I get as a spiritual teacher and the question I literally ask myself everyday….

To Music or To Not?

First you need to ask yourself what your intent for meditation is that day. 

When to use music in meditation:

• When the intent is to relax, destress or release emotion

• When you are looking to be inspired to write 

• When the environment around you is loud

• If you are a beginner 

• If you tend to fall asleep during meditation 

• Because you want to! 

When to sit in silence

*If music distracts you from your intent (ie. the music is more distracting than it is helpful) 

*If you are looking to connect with the Spirit World 

• When you are outside in nature (Nature sounds are natural meditation enhancers and a beautiful addition to any meditation) 

• Your home is quiet and allows you to do so

• Because you prefer it

The truth friend is that this option changes for me on the daily. There is no absolute way to how you show up for your meditation. As my friend Lauren Rainbow says, “that’s why we call it a practice!” 

You have to find what organically works for you. You have to listen to what feels good for your Soul. The most important thing is that you don’t neglect this aspect of you and what is ultimately an amazing tool to manage so many of things you might be feeling right now. It doesn’t have to be everyday, it doesn’t have to be for a really long time (seriously, sometimes I only meditate for ten minutes). I encourage you to sit down and write down the days and approximate time(s) of day to give back to yourself with a little breathing and meditation. By writing it down we breathe life into it and it helps hold us accountable. It also feels freaking good to mark off a “to do” list! 

As always…

I hope you know the Universe loves you, Spirit loves and that I love you! 

Handling Empathic Anxiety

It has been a while since I have taken time to just WRITE you guys. It is something I absolutely enjoy but don’t make enough time for. Spring break has started and I’ve decided to take the week off. It couldn’t be more timely. My anxiety has been at a fever pitch the past week. I know I am not the only one that feels it. Even if you aren’t a spiritual worker or empathic, EVERYONE is feeling the mounting anxiety. 

It is so easy to get caught up in a cycle of fear. On social media I posted that we have to make a daily choice to choose love over fear. Sometimes this practice is easy. Other times this practice seems nearly impossible. While I work with the Spirit World and implement spiritual practices on the daily, it doesn’t mean that I am immune from fear. My occupation requires that I see clients (most of them face to face), that I speak and teach groups of people. I see clients in my home. I travel between states for presentations. I assure you, I have felt varying levels of fear driven anxiety DAILY.

So how do we function in these interesting times as Sensitives? As Empaths? The answer is, with intent. Below are a few things I am doing to help manage the anxiety and to choose love over the heightened sense of fear.

1. I am moving my body. The past week working out hasn’t been for any other reason but to manage anxiety. When we can get our heart rate up for 20-30 minutes a day it helps manage and even lower symptoms of anxiety. It doesn’t have to be anything major friends, it can be a walk around the block. This has helped me tremendously. 

2. I make a gratitude list. Being able to become mindful of the good, creates more awareness of the good. Every morning I wake up and list 5 things that I am grateful for. It’s usually about things/feeling that have taken place over the last 24 hours. For example, sometimes its as simple as my cup of coffee. While I’ve done this everyday for nearly a year and half, it has become even more important as of late.

3. I took social media OFF my phone. This one is big. I function in a business that survives off social media interaction. That same social media is over-run with fear based posts right now. Having it at the tip of my finger, I have found myself lost in numerous posts about the current threat and climate. Most of these posts are not helpful. They aren’t fact based and they are full of energy that I am super sensitive to. In order to keep myself from being triggered and feeling all the things, I’ve deleted the apps off my phone (except Instagram-but I don’t scroll) until things have died down.

4. I meditate. Yep, you’ve heard me say it one million times. “When in doubt, meditate it out.” You don’t need a lot of time or a super special space. Just take 5-10 minutes to focus on your breath. It lowers your heart rate, your blood pressure and those racing thoughts.

5. I drink water. Seems simple and obvious but drinking enough water matters. It keeps your vitals regulated. As someone who can be highly anxious, having the physiology taken care of helps me know when I am TRULY experiencing anxiety, or if I just need to be hydrated.

6. I talk it out. If you are like me, you don’t like to burden others with your fears, anxiety or hurt. This can lead to you internalizing. The internalization can lead to irrational projections of a false reality. Talking it out with someone I love or just voicing “I am anxious right now” invites an opportunity to realign with love and to ground.

Sweet Soul, the most important thing to know, is that you aren’t alone. If you are finding yourself in a state of fear and uncertainty know that SO many of us are. It’s empowering to know that in a time of feeling out of control of the outcome, we can be in control of how we care for bodies and mental health. We can choose again. 

I Learned...

The gift of the last decade:
Let your Soul take you where you are meant to be...

As I sit here looking over the last decade of my life I am, firstly, humbled. To be able to be a part of anyone's journey is an honor and to be able to share mine with you, is humbling.

I started out this decade in my early twenties. I started out this decade married. I started out this decade with two children. I started out this decade as a novice in my field and strictly defining myself.

As each year of this decade has broken, reshaped, broken and reshaped, it has made me grow in ways I could have never anticipated.

I traveled throughout the United States and Europe.
I divorced.
I fell in love again.
I had another child.
I questioned myself…HARD.
I found joy in things I swore I didn’t even like but had never really tried.
I learned how to be a better mother.
I learned to make failure my friend.
I learned that most of my fears were whispered lies from an untamed ego.
I learned that community can get you through the things you cannot do on your own.
That we are truly better together. That taught me to drop the martyr hood of the “lone wolf” appeal.
I learned that best friends can become absolute strangers and strangers can become your best friends.
I learned the person we can lie to the most is ourselves.

I learned that I don’t want to be solely defined as an Intuitive Medium. My Soul truly wants to inspire you in whatever way I can.

I want you to know that I love you. That I am grateful for your support. I am grateful for this place in your newsfeed, your lives, and with some of you, your hearts.

Not only is 2020 yours…but the next decade is waiting for you to be who you WANT to be.

Love,
Brandie

A Letter To The Student Starting Out

(Editors Note: This article was originally written for The Ozark Research Institute’s Spring 2019 Members Journal.)

Where to Begin 

By Brandie Chrisman

I remember the first time I stepped out of the cab in England onto the gravel in front of AFC. The tall, old estate seemed like a castle to me. It was stuck in time, all the way from the front desk check in to the beautifully tended gardens surrounding the grand building. I was speechless as the unique energy flooded my system all at once. It was overwhelmingly captivating. On the side of the entryway there is a plaque that reads, “Stansted Hall”. Such a simple group of words to explain what goes on inside it's beautifully preserved walls. For those of you that don’t know, Arthur Findlay College is a donated estate to the Spiritualist National Union that holds weekly classes in Mediumship, Psychism and the Healing Arts. I was told by my first mentor at the ripe young age of twenty-one that I needed to attend if I was seriously considering a life as a Medium. At twenty-three I stood with my suitcase in hand, neck stretched up as I lifted my hand to shield my eyes from the sun so I could see the top of the school. I had never left Tulsa, Oklahoma for more than a few days and now I had flown across the ocean in search of something to help me understand myself, to help me understand this connection with the Unseen. 

Arthur Findlay College was where I was introduced to the concept of “Sitting With Spirit”. A practice long seeped in tradition and reverence. The practice of becoming still, inviting the Spirit World into your space and blending with a power so much greater than our own. It was the first time that it dawned on me that Mediumship was SO MUCH MORE than what I had been exposed to in America. In America, my only real exposure to it was more on the entertainment side. Watching Mediums on television shows walk up to people on the side walk and start spewing information about them and their deceased relative, or spitting out objects, letters and the occasional occupation to an audience member. I had no doubt that those individuals were having an experience, but upon instruction by my first mentor I was told that it goes so much deeper than that, so much deeper than a weekend workshop. Deeper than standing in front of a crowd and nervously producing bits and pieces of insight into someone’s life.

That conviction had landed me in a different country, in a class room, where I knew no one. It was the first time I was being told that there was a HISTORY and PHILOSOPHY to Mediumship. I understood then, that if I didn’t know about this history and philosophy behind mediumship, that I didn’t know myself and I couldn’t fully understand the ability that I had. I was a sponge, soaking up absolutely everything in our classroom sessions , walking the gardens and considering every aspect of the lessons (and my belief or disbelief in them) on our breaks. 

When I saw the Mediums work on platform during the Spiritualist Service I was blown away by the information they gave. They could tell you not only the name of the Spirit person, but their last name, how many children they had and their names, what their street address was, what their home looked like, WHO THEY WERE to the person in the congregation, jokes they use to tell, and really the list could go on and on. How did they do that? How did they know such intimate, mundane and meaningful things? How did they TRUST the Spirit World SO much that they had no qualms about voicing every thing that they perceived? 

The answer was given to me by the late (and magnificent) Medium Glynn Edwards in a lecture the next day. In such an eloquent way that only Mr. Edwards could, he explained to all eighty of us in the room that the most important thing we will ever have as a Medium is our relationship with the Spirit World. The only way to build that relationship was to make time to sit and blend with our “helpers” (Spirit Guides) and the collective energy, knowledge and love of the Spirit World.

Ten years later these words are still my anthem. They are sung to EVERY student that sits in my classroom, every attendee that comes to hear a public message. It is the most valuable lesson I was ever taught. It took me from being an “American Psychic Medium," to proudly holding my head up high and being a “Medium”. The practice has helped me understand that mediumship is a life of service and surrender rather than a party trick that feeds our ego. It isn’t about how good WE are, its about how AMAZING the SPIRIT WORLD is. It is about the relationship that we build with the Unseen that helps us accurately, humbly, and beautifully prove that we do not die, we simply transform. If we are to adequately bring Mediumship to the masses we have to first understand our role in the communication. I whole heartedly believe that Modern Mediumship is the fusion of our history and our potential. Without making time to sit with the Spirit World, we do not know the depths at which they can truly work with us, inspire us, and lead us into the future. Just as there was a movement one-hundred and seventy years ago, I believe that the community is headed towards (or perhaps even in the beginnings of) a new movement, one that holds the teachings, philosophy and inspiration of our pioneers from the past as a map, as a doorway into the potential of the Modern Medium to once again prove the Soul’s existence. So if you, my dear friend, are reading this and you believe you are a medium ask yourself, “Am I making time for them? Am I sitting in their knowledge regularly? Am I coming from a place of service,” and if the answer is “no," at least now, you understand where to begin. 

Making The Best Of Your Session

It is happening. You have taken that leap and are sitting in your car waiting for your appointment time with a Psychic Medium. Will they be accurate? Will they even be able to “read” you? What if they suck? What if they say something you DON’T want to hear? 

Friend, although I am a Psychic Medium, I have TOTALLY been in this spot. Believe it or not, I’ve purchased sessions too. (Cause even Mediums have Mediums.) 

It is a vulnerable place to be. You are mourning. You are nervous. You most likely have never done this before and if you have you still don’t feel totally prepared because every Medium is different, right? I’ve got your back! Let me help you navigate this. Here are some tips to help you, help make the most out of your session.

1. Come with an open mind and an open heart: You have most likely booked a session with a Medium because you have lost someone significant in your life. You WANT to talk to this person. Odds are you have expectations of your Medium bringing THAT EXACT person through. Something you should know: Most Mediums (if not all) have NO control over which loved one comes through for you. We want to provide the most outstanding connection to Spirit for you and in order to do so, that means letting Spirit do their thing. So, how does a Medium do that? We have to completely jump the “Logical Mind” ship. No life raft, no LifeSaver ring, we don’t even get floaties. If we stay in our logical minds we fail to expand our awareness enough to blend with the Spirit World and connect to your people. If we go in trying to connect with just that one person, we are already too much into our logical minds. This leads me to the next point of coming with an open mind and heart. Sometimes who you WANT to hear from is not who you are MEANT to hear from. What?!? Yes!!! From my training, self study and personal understanding, Spirit does what they do (all the communication) with purpose. That purpose is to provide as much love and healing as possible during your session. They know more than you do, more than I do, who it is on the other side that can provide that for you. That is why, the Medium has little to no control over which one of your loved ones makes contact. This is where you have to TRUST the decision you made to pick the Medium you did AND trust that the Spirit World knows deeply what you are in need of. 

2. Receive your Loved One(s): There is nothing more painful for everyone involved than someone who sits there with their arms crossed and closed off from the experience. Your Medium will most likely tell you how they work (I like to receive limited information and use the “Yes”, “No”, “I don’t know” format that I learned from my English Medium Tutors) and one thing they will tell you is that they need a certain level of interaction from you. That being said, your LOVED ONE’S are working hard to connect with you. It takes A LOT of energy for them to “dance” in communication with your Medium. Please, OWN YOUR LOVED ONES. If your Medium says, “Does that make sense” or “Do you understand”, honestly, lovingly use your voice and let them know. The WORST thing you can do is walk in with the intention to prove that mediumship isn’t real or that your Medium isn’t real. Allow space for the work to take place and THEN come to your conclusions. It is MORE than normal to be skeptical, it is counterintuitive to your session to be a cynic. 

3. Research Your Medium: I CAN’T stress this enough! NOT EVERY MEDIUM IS ETHICAL and it PAINS me to have to write that. As sad as that is, it is true. Google, Facebook and word of mouth are GREAT tools for understanding who your medium is, if you vibe with them, what their accuracy is like, and if they are ethical.  

4. It doesn’t ALWAYS work: If Mediumship always worked for everyone, I would question it. The fact that it doesn’t, proves to me, that there are other factors at play. There have been times, although small in number, in which I have had to reschedule a client or ultimately refund them. Sometimes, it just happens. I believe that if it happens it is either because the timing isn’t right, you aren’t mentally/emotionally ready to hear what is going to come through, or perhaps I’m just not the right fit. Whatever the reason is, there is a small percentage of clients that experience this. (I would say 1-2/year). Something to remember is that if it does happen it doesn’t mean that your loved ones don’t love you. It means that a factor needs to change. My “go to” is always to reschedule the client for a later date, then if that doesn’t work, I help them find another ethical and respectful Medium and refund them. 

I truly hope this helps you make the best of your experience with your session. (With me or with someone else). I hope that you enjoy it, feel all the good things, and know that love doesn’t die, it merely transforms. 

Why "Life Experience" is MORE than valid in Mediumship

I remember the first time it was said to me, “Just focus on raising your babies right now. Enjoy your time with them. There is plenty of time to do this later.” It was like nails on a chalk board. What do you mean….WAIT…..I can’t do that! My young twenty-something self scoffed at it. Didn’t they know I was going to BE someone with this gift? Didn’t they know I had places to go, people to talk to?!? You can fill in the rest with just about any egotistical statement you’d like because that is exactly where I was coming from: my underdeveloped, raging ego.

I don’t think this is particularly unusual on both fronts: being a young twenty something and the beginning one’s Mediumistic journey. While I did have a level of humility, I had zero understanding of why someone would actually take mediumship under their belt and of the massive journey life was about to take me on. In short…IT LEVELED ME.

I thought, at the time of twenty-three that I had it pretty figured out. I was a mom of two after all, I was already married after all, what MORE could I possibly have to experience or learn? What did I NOT already know that could help me, help clients?

The answer is EVERYTHING. I had EVERYTHING left to experience, EVERYTHING left to learn, EVERYTHING to say that I didn’t have the life experience or personal growth to be aiding clients. YES, I could communicate with the Spirit World and bring through evidence of survival BUT THAT ISN’T EVERYTHING that a Medium needs to be able to accomplish in order to serve the Spirit World and to serve the public.

The next handful of years would take me through a divorce, a highly abusive relationship with a man that I thought radiated “spirituality”, a traumatic attack that afterwards left me fighting for mental and emotional stability and a RISE to self love, humility, personal growth, and a deep understanding that what I had chosen to embrace about myself, in the end actually has NOTHING to do with me and that my expression of that ability has everything to do with my attitude, tamed ego and LIFE EXPERIENCES that make me an unbiased voice for the Spirit World.

You see, if we are still holding on to our gift somehow making us better than, more than, or special, we dramatically STUNT our ability to communicate not only with our clients but the Spirit Communicator that has made all the effort to collaborate in the communication. It is NOT about how awesome we think mediumship makes us…its about LIVING, LOVING, and RECONNECTION…and we are just the translator helping to bridge the gap. We have to stop believing our ego, and learn to tame it in order to do this work. We have to stop projecting that our gifts somehow automatically ordain us to be a savor to the masses. Honey, the only thing this gift does is give you permission to find the REAL you, the one that can actually be of service, the one ready to accept the challenge of looking inward at all your flaws, forgiving your ignorance, and becoming who you are truly meant to be. That vessel of unbiased love, that vessel of a beautifully flawed existence that you can boldly still find joy in. You are here to shine bright enough that others remember they can do the same.